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I need to remember I have this account.
Dec. 19th, 2022 10:47 pmPoint form cause honestly, it's been a LOT:
- I ended my contract with my old job because it was honestly just killing me with stress. When you have an incompetent boss who refuses to actually do their damn job, the ship is going down and I simply couldn't stay another year. I was honestly just killing myself there and I had to choose between myself and a toxic job. So I left.
- Friends...Some are a bit distant simply because I've either been sick or depressed. Even though I knew it wasn't my responsibility to fix a sinking ship, it still affected me. Being sick had me just so out of it that I did nothing for almost a month. I was that sick and that down. Some I don't even bother calling because when I suggest some activity, they never give me an actual fucking time or date. I'm funemployed at the moment. I don't want to cut into people's schedules, but if you're at work and want to see me...Well, tell me your schedule. Or actually call me to confirm. Not just chat with me and nothing is concrete.
- I also give up contacting people after so long. I'm kind of done waiting for people.
- Reading. Just a TON of reading because I kind of went crazy buying books and series. I got back into anime in a BIG way and have devoured most of MHA, Naruto, Demon Slayer, and what's coming up in Jujutsu Kaisen. Working my slow way through Golden Kamuy, Tokyo Revengers, and several other slice of life series going on like "A man and his cat" and "The masterful cat is depressed again".
- Books. Jesus fuck have I managed to grab the lamest books man. Quite a few novels were duds and I'm annoyed that I ended up reading a few of them. The Last one I've read is "The Secret Book of Grazia dei Rossi" It's well researched and you can tell that the writing has a lot of passion behind it, but it's leaving me sort of cold in that I'm not *fully* enjoying it. I'm going to give it a go either way since I already DNF another book I had been looking forward to reading. Because it sucked.
- Writing has slowed down a bit, but I am still getting ideas and stories. I slowed down significantly this year due to the events of work.
- I'm not even bothering with politics since it's a clownshow nightmare.
- Argentina won the World Cup. Messi can die happy, finally. Poor bastard carried this weight his entire career. He can put it down. Mbppe can fuck off for too many reasons. I didn't watch it, since blood was paid to have that in Qatar. Fuck it. But happy that Messi can be free from all the expectations and pressure and just play. He reminds me of when Crosby won the Cup for the first time. Then the gold medal in the Winter Olympics. They're free.
- I'm honestly just taking it easy and bonding with the nibling's kid. She's the youngest and oh god we are trying so hard to do good by her. I worry she overthinks mistakes and I'm working on being gentler with her. I don't do that very well, so I am finding a balance and working at it with her.
- Thankfully not depressed as I was prior to this month. I decorated the room a bit and have been crafting. Two stuffed rabbits, two clay rabbit slug hybrids, and some drawings. The crafting is helping me more than I realised. I honestly feel like a vet needing to heal from trauma. I should be good soon. I just need some time to just be.
